Freaks of nature.... Or should I say family

All family's have a hidden black sheep or two. I have come to understand that mine is a family of black sheep. Some because of their choice, some by the expectations that others have on members of ones family. I hate the Drugs that people do to escape the fear that they have in their lives. It seems that the use of drugs (meth) causes the people to change is nothing less than frightful. So I guess the question is the use of drugs the failure or is the reasons that lead up to the use the failure? Just a thought.....

Well I dislike........

That death takes away the ones that mean something to me!
That people don't think before they cause others pain.(this includes me)
That no matter what I try to do I will fail. That is I will not be able to but into action the idea I have of whatever it is in my head in the way I see it.

This little rant is brought about by my grandmothers death and today is her funeral, I hate funerals. I like to think that when I die someone would throw a party because you know I will be partying. The fact is that the time with family that is to sooth just makes me upset and angry at how can I be this alone in a crowd.

So to Grandma, I will miss your laugh at the sound of a baby's smile, the way you knew what was said in the silence of a moment, the way you could find the good in every dark time, and the way you helped shape my life. I will miss you until we meet again in the court of the King where you find rest now. Have a dance for me will ya.